My uncle, Phillip Patterson, passed away in August. The internet may remember him from his project, The Serenity of Knowing, in which he copied and bound the entire King James Version of the Bible by hand during the last few years of his life. This weekend my husband, children and I were supposed to travel to rural New York for his memorial service. Sadly, the pain and passion of another man who in his distress set fire to the air traffic control station in Aurora, IL, made it impossible for us to attend the service.
I was stuck in the Midwest, removed from my family, unsure of how to mourn my uncle in a way that was both specific and meaningful. And so my husband and I dressed in out finest clothes and went to the most elegant lounge we could find. This may seem odd to some of you, but the people who knew him would understand. Uncle Phillip was the most elegant person I have had the privilege to know. His elegance went beyond dress and good manners, though those were certainly a part of it. Uncle Phillip brought every gathering up a notch just by being there. The way he would sit on a chair, hand draped across his knee or the armrest, telling a story in his magnificent mellifluous voice, drew everyone into the light of his aura. When he was there we all felt elegant.
And isn't that the essence of grace, to make us all feel a little special and included, without putting anyone down or leaving anyone out?
I was not thinking of my uncle when I called this project I started Grace Among Mortals. But I should have. The graceful way he handled his illness was both an example of how we all can be and a gentle reminder of our mortality.
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