I started with the best of intentions, honest I did. I would spend the year observing people respond to each other with grace and share my observance with you. I would also let them know how much their actions meant to the world. People are so often told when they have irritated or hurt someone and so seldom told when they made another person happy. But shortly after starting this blog I was moved to full time at work, something I wanted, and I became serious about karate, trying to go three times a week. It is amazing how many things are scheduled at the same time as karate classes. So I dropped the blog and, with no new posts online, I stopped giving out the thank you cards to people I saw acting with grace. But I never gave up on the project.
Over the past several months I have become accustomed to seeing how often people reach out to help their fellow mortals. I have made a concerted effort to tell people that I appreciate it when they do something kind for me or someone I know. The project has been a great success in changing my view of the world, which was the main goal. The blog and cards were simply my motivation to keep doing it.
However, recently I have been the recipient of so much grace from so many directions that I feel compelled to share my gratitude. After a difficult eighth grade, my daughter opted to be home schooled for high school. We have always been active in our children's education, if not always their schooling, so to a great extent my family is prepared for this change. I have found resources both on-line and in the community to meet her academic and social needs in most areas. My husband and I are customizing a social studies curriculum to her interests and life goals. The one area left open was English. I am by no means confident in my ability to provide high quality instruction at a high school level to a child who is gaining a reputation in the fan fiction community and is interested in writing songs.
Fortunately, I am blessed to be surrounded by four people who are more than up to the job. Even more fortunately, they have all offered to help. So instead of relying on my limited knowledge my daughter's English teachers will include two college professors, one of whom has a music background and an MFA in poetry, the driving force behind a literary magazine written by and for teens, and a MA in English with experience tutoring at-risk youth. That doesn't let me off the hook. It just means that I will not be on my own through what for me would be the most difficult part of this endeavor. And for that I am grateful.
Now, if only I can schedule in sleep, everything will be perfect.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Monday, December 1, 2014
Thanksgiving Grace
I am thankful that my need for food, shelter, safety and love are so completely met that if I were to complain about anything I could only end up sounding petty.
A woman recently moved to my city because her car was totaled in an accident and, with no money to replace it, she had to be in a place with a bus system. This occurred shortly after the death of her husband. Far from family and friends, she found a church that had beautiful stained glass windows and started attending, choosing to sit beneath her favorite picture each week. Unbeknownst to her, her mother in law contacted the church and told them that she would be alone for Thanksgiving this year. A member of the church invited her to share their meal.
How many of us have invited complete strangers into our home? How many of us speak to people with stories that differ significantly from our own? So many of us rely on others to do the hard work of serving. We donate money and feel grateful that others have the time to do it. But it does not take time, or even money. It is simply a matter of being open to the needs of the people in our community and not being afraid.
I challenge you today, while you can still remember all you have to be grateful for, to open yourself up to helping a stranger at least once before spring. Anonymous donations won't do. You have to put yourself out there and speak to people. Listen to their story and tell them yours. Give of yourself in a way that cannot be reimbursed on your taxes. I get tired of all these acts of trust and kindness coming from churches. We should be able to do this regardless of our faith or affiliation. We do not need the sanction of an organization to be compassionate members of our community.
Share your stories with me. Just be careful to protect the people in them.
A woman recently moved to my city because her car was totaled in an accident and, with no money to replace it, she had to be in a place with a bus system. This occurred shortly after the death of her husband. Far from family and friends, she found a church that had beautiful stained glass windows and started attending, choosing to sit beneath her favorite picture each week. Unbeknownst to her, her mother in law contacted the church and told them that she would be alone for Thanksgiving this year. A member of the church invited her to share their meal.
How many of us have invited complete strangers into our home? How many of us speak to people with stories that differ significantly from our own? So many of us rely on others to do the hard work of serving. We donate money and feel grateful that others have the time to do it. But it does not take time, or even money. It is simply a matter of being open to the needs of the people in our community and not being afraid.
I challenge you today, while you can still remember all you have to be grateful for, to open yourself up to helping a stranger at least once before spring. Anonymous donations won't do. You have to put yourself out there and speak to people. Listen to their story and tell them yours. Give of yourself in a way that cannot be reimbursed on your taxes. I get tired of all these acts of trust and kindness coming from churches. We should be able to do this regardless of our faith or affiliation. We do not need the sanction of an organization to be compassionate members of our community.
Share your stories with me. Just be careful to protect the people in them.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
The Grace of Getting a Second Chance
We have all made mistakes in our lives, bad ones that have harmed others. Each of us has a secret place where we keep the memory, wishing we could erase it. But every once in a while it comes out and we feel guilt or shame or sorrow at our actions. Perhaps we comfort ourselves by knowing that we didn't do anything that bad. We never killed anyone, or raped anyone, or committed any other heinous and unforgivable act. Of course, chances are someone reading this has done one of those things. It is likely that everyone reading this knows someone, a neighbor or coworker or regular acquaintance, who has done something that you would find difficult, if not impossible, to accept if you knew.
People can change. Even those who have committed atrocities can change. Still, it is hard to know who has really gone through a personal transformation, no longer resembling the person they once were, and who is putting on a really good show. It's hard enough to know that about ourselves. So we protect ourselves by not taking chances. We don't let anyone in if we know they have done something like that. And "those people" are marginalized.
I know one of "those people." He did some pretty awful things in his past. But this week he was given a chance. This week someone who knew his story decided to give him a temporary job, and is willing to consider making it permanent should things work out. The person I know will start earning a paycheck and paying taxes and more fully participating in our society. In doing so he will build hope, not only for himself, but for others he knows in a similar situation. Who knows where the ripples will go from there. Because the people who take the most desperate actions are often those who have no hope.
Not all of us are willing to take such chances. We can call it fear or we can call it common sense. Whatever we call it, we should be grateful to those among us who show the grace needed to look beyond a person's past and consider their future.
People can change. Even those who have committed atrocities can change. Still, it is hard to know who has really gone through a personal transformation, no longer resembling the person they once were, and who is putting on a really good show. It's hard enough to know that about ourselves. So we protect ourselves by not taking chances. We don't let anyone in if we know they have done something like that. And "those people" are marginalized.
I know one of "those people." He did some pretty awful things in his past. But this week he was given a chance. This week someone who knew his story decided to give him a temporary job, and is willing to consider making it permanent should things work out. The person I know will start earning a paycheck and paying taxes and more fully participating in our society. In doing so he will build hope, not only for himself, but for others he knows in a similar situation. Who knows where the ripples will go from there. Because the people who take the most desperate actions are often those who have no hope.
Not all of us are willing to take such chances. We can call it fear or we can call it common sense. Whatever we call it, we should be grateful to those among us who show the grace needed to look beyond a person's past and consider their future.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Grace on the Internet?
This week I would like to share something unexpected and wonderful that happened. Perhaps it has always been there and I am just this moment starting to notice it. It can be hard to look past the incessant bickering about who got their information from a better source than whom. But over the past week I have noticed a significant increase in people sending friendly, caring, even loving messages to other people over the internet.
Maybe it started with the folks who sent facebook flowers to each other in order to increase the number of happy posts and decrease the amount of suck. If so, good on you whoever thought up that one. But if that was the catalyst, it sure didn't stop there. I have seen friends and family send each other loving messages and poetry, quoted and original. I have seen pleasant blog and vlog posts with kind and supportive comments. I have even witnessed intelligent arguments about issue that people hold dear that didn't devolve into name calling and bickering.
Is the internet growing up? Are its denizens learning that it is possible to think of others rather than whine for what they want? If so, I don't expect it to endure. Growing up is a long slow process with great leaps forward that are often followed by periods of regression. Anyone who has raised children can attest to this. But the idea makes sense. Google recently turned 14. MySpace was started about 11 years ago. If you consider these dates as relevant in birthing the internet as we currently understand it, we are just getting to the point as a community when we start looking beyond ourselves and consider that others exist as more than a backdrop to our own lives.
I'm proud of you this week internet. I hope you can figure out a way to make this last. That doesn't mean you won't backslide. I know there will be times when you can't help but troll the world like the massive and ubiquitous grumpy cat you are. But I know you can be better than that and I hope to see it again soon.
Love,
Christine
Maybe it started with the folks who sent facebook flowers to each other in order to increase the number of happy posts and decrease the amount of suck. If so, good on you whoever thought up that one. But if that was the catalyst, it sure didn't stop there. I have seen friends and family send each other loving messages and poetry, quoted and original. I have seen pleasant blog and vlog posts with kind and supportive comments. I have even witnessed intelligent arguments about issue that people hold dear that didn't devolve into name calling and bickering.
Is the internet growing up? Are its denizens learning that it is possible to think of others rather than whine for what they want? If so, I don't expect it to endure. Growing up is a long slow process with great leaps forward that are often followed by periods of regression. Anyone who has raised children can attest to this. But the idea makes sense. Google recently turned 14. MySpace was started about 11 years ago. If you consider these dates as relevant in birthing the internet as we currently understand it, we are just getting to the point as a community when we start looking beyond ourselves and consider that others exist as more than a backdrop to our own lives.
I'm proud of you this week internet. I hope you can figure out a way to make this last. That doesn't mean you won't backslide. I know there will be times when you can't help but troll the world like the massive and ubiquitous grumpy cat you are. But I know you can be better than that and I hope to see it again soon.
Love,
Christine
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Grace Between Mothers
Being homeless sucks. I know this first hand. Being homeless with winter approaching is even worse. I cannot even imagine being homeless with winter approaching while trying to raise children. But tonight at the shelter where my family volunteers, three families checked in. This is a huge number for a church gathering room with 30 mattresses on the floor. One of the mothers and her three children were there for the first time. This means there is a lot of paperwork to fill out along with a lot of very personal questions to answer all in a room where folks are eating, watching television and just hanging out. It could have been a nightmare for this mother who as of tonight had no where else to go.
I don't know about shelters in any place other than my own home town, but the impermanent situation we have, that travels from church basement to church basement each night, is made up of people who have formed into a family. So while the new woman sat in a corner with an intake worker, she did not have to worry about her children. One of the other mothers oversaw all of the children as they made up their mattresses and prepared for bed. Another woman, whose kids are now grown, took care of the baby, rocking her and talking to her and keeping her happy the whole time the mother filled out the paperwork.
We have all heard the adage, it takes a village to raise a child. But all too often we do not allow that village in. We are afraid of how others may harm our children. Or we are resentful when they point out an error in their behavior. Therefore we hesitate to reach out to others, not offering assistance to the parent who could use some help. Not speaking up when we believe there is a problem. Parenting is hard and we all seem to notice the judgement and eschew the help. Tonight I saw a mother in need and I saw a village come together to support her. Those children have a safe place to sleep tonight, surrounded by people who care for them. I hope it won't be too long before they find a home.
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
John 13:35
I don't know about shelters in any place other than my own home town, but the impermanent situation we have, that travels from church basement to church basement each night, is made up of people who have formed into a family. So while the new woman sat in a corner with an intake worker, she did not have to worry about her children. One of the other mothers oversaw all of the children as they made up their mattresses and prepared for bed. Another woman, whose kids are now grown, took care of the baby, rocking her and talking to her and keeping her happy the whole time the mother filled out the paperwork.
We have all heard the adage, it takes a village to raise a child. But all too often we do not allow that village in. We are afraid of how others may harm our children. Or we are resentful when they point out an error in their behavior. Therefore we hesitate to reach out to others, not offering assistance to the parent who could use some help. Not speaking up when we believe there is a problem. Parenting is hard and we all seem to notice the judgement and eschew the help. Tonight I saw a mother in need and I saw a village come together to support her. Those children have a safe place to sleep tonight, surrounded by people who care for them. I hope it won't be too long before they find a home.
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
John 13:35
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
A Lovely Cup of Coffee
Actually it wasn't coffee. I don't drink coffee. I find the taste unpleasant and don't need the caffeine to function. In fact, caffeine makes me so jittery that I can hardly do anything useful. But that is besides the point.
I love to read and sometimes the hubby and I take a trip to Barnes and Noble to browse for new books and a snack at Starbucks. One of our first dates involved Barnes and Noble, cake and a Fox Trot compilation. Autumn is my favorite time to go because they have hot apple cider with caramel which is super yummy.
There is something special at the Starbucks in the Barnes and Noble near my home town. Actually, someone. One of the employees, the one I see most often, makes each visit a delight. It would be inaccurate to say that he goes above and beyond the call of duty; most transactions are routine and he would seem false in doing so. He simply goes about his job knowing that it makes a difference and seeks to give each customer the best coffee (or not coffee) buying experience he can.
We live in a society rich with hyperbole. People seek to make a difference doing great deeds with meaningful foundations. Making a difference means changing the world. But that is not always the way of things. Mother Theresa had so much to say on the importance of small kindnesses that I can't chose a single quote. Crowley, the fallen angel in Good Omens, the brilliant story by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, tied up all the phone lines in central London one lunch time knowing the frustration it would cause would do more to serve the forces of evil than some grand scheme.
I don't mean to turn a genuine smile and caring tone accompanied by first rate customer service into some great spiritual exercise. But grace in all things does make us all a little happier and a little more likely to spread that happiness to the next person we see.
So if you are ever in Racine, WI, go to the Barnes and Noble and order a coffee.
I love to read and sometimes the hubby and I take a trip to Barnes and Noble to browse for new books and a snack at Starbucks. One of our first dates involved Barnes and Noble, cake and a Fox Trot compilation. Autumn is my favorite time to go because they have hot apple cider with caramel which is super yummy.
There is something special at the Starbucks in the Barnes and Noble near my home town. Actually, someone. One of the employees, the one I see most often, makes each visit a delight. It would be inaccurate to say that he goes above and beyond the call of duty; most transactions are routine and he would seem false in doing so. He simply goes about his job knowing that it makes a difference and seeks to give each customer the best coffee (or not coffee) buying experience he can.
We live in a society rich with hyperbole. People seek to make a difference doing great deeds with meaningful foundations. Making a difference means changing the world. But that is not always the way of things. Mother Theresa had so much to say on the importance of small kindnesses that I can't chose a single quote. Crowley, the fallen angel in Good Omens, the brilliant story by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, tied up all the phone lines in central London one lunch time knowing the frustration it would cause would do more to serve the forces of evil than some grand scheme.
I don't mean to turn a genuine smile and caring tone accompanied by first rate customer service into some great spiritual exercise. But grace in all things does make us all a little happier and a little more likely to spread that happiness to the next person we see.
So if you are ever in Racine, WI, go to the Barnes and Noble and order a coffee.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Travelling Gracefully
I know I haven't posted anything in a month. I am going to make up for it with several consecutive posts. The most recent one first...
No one who knows me would describe me as brave. I am comfortable living in relative safety and feel no need to overcome my fears. But sometimes I have to put family before phobia and do something I would usually avoid. In that spirit I packed the kids in the car and drove halfway across the country to my cousin's wedding.
It was a beautiful celebration of family and friendship and love. When the vows were said and the newly joined couple presented, the joy on my cousin's face reminded me of how I felt at that same moment over 15 years ago. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
As someone who sees every extended car trip as an opportunity to die in a fiery wreck, arriving safely and sanely seemed far from guaranteed. Help came from an unexpected source. To the civil engineers who designed Ohio's interstates and the predictable and considerate drivers on the turnpike, thank you. For a few hours I was able to relax and sing along with my kids in the car, becoming an unlikely fan of the band Black Veil Brides*. I think I need to plan a trip to see more of Ohio.
I'm sure many readers (all both of you) will find me either banal or facetious in thanking Ohio for the grace it showed the weekend of my cousin's wedding. I assure you it is neither. Often the little things have a big impact on how we face the world. The peace I felt in Ohio made it possible for me to enjoy one of the best weekends in recent memory.
Congratulations cousins! May the joy of your wedding day follow you all the days of your life.
*Wikipedia just told me that Andy Biersack, the lead singer of Black Veil Brides, is from Ohio.
**In case it crossed anyone's mind, hubby couldn't drive with me because he was at his nieces wedding on the same day. When he saw how happy she was it reminded him of our own wedding day. Even halfway across the country we were thinking the same thoughts.
No one who knows me would describe me as brave. I am comfortable living in relative safety and feel no need to overcome my fears. But sometimes I have to put family before phobia and do something I would usually avoid. In that spirit I packed the kids in the car and drove halfway across the country to my cousin's wedding.
It was a beautiful celebration of family and friendship and love. When the vows were said and the newly joined couple presented, the joy on my cousin's face reminded me of how I felt at that same moment over 15 years ago. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
As someone who sees every extended car trip as an opportunity to die in a fiery wreck, arriving safely and sanely seemed far from guaranteed. Help came from an unexpected source. To the civil engineers who designed Ohio's interstates and the predictable and considerate drivers on the turnpike, thank you. For a few hours I was able to relax and sing along with my kids in the car, becoming an unlikely fan of the band Black Veil Brides*. I think I need to plan a trip to see more of Ohio.
I'm sure many readers (all both of you) will find me either banal or facetious in thanking Ohio for the grace it showed the weekend of my cousin's wedding. I assure you it is neither. Often the little things have a big impact on how we face the world. The peace I felt in Ohio made it possible for me to enjoy one of the best weekends in recent memory.
Congratulations cousins! May the joy of your wedding day follow you all the days of your life.
*Wikipedia just told me that Andy Biersack, the lead singer of Black Veil Brides, is from Ohio.
**In case it crossed anyone's mind, hubby couldn't drive with me because he was at his nieces wedding on the same day. When he saw how happy she was it reminded him of our own wedding day. Even halfway across the country we were thinking the same thoughts.
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